stress

I have so many BIG things on my mind lately. It's hard to even put them into words for people who are not in my brain to even comprehend and I know that makes me sound like a crazy person, which sometimes I think I am.

One of the big things was taken care of yesterday, thank goodness. I'm so thankful for the guys that came out yesterday and helped get the steel on the new building at the farm. It's been a level of stress for all of us since my dad broke his foot. There is still more to do before the heifers can be fed in there, but at least the rest of it my very resourceful brother can do a lot easier by himself. 26' sheets of tin are a little hard to maneuver alone!

The rest of the things I can't talk about - well, at least I shouldn't yet. I've been praying and God knows the needs. He is in control of all things.

Control freak...

...me, never! Ok, so that was totally tongue in cheek! Right now, there are so many things in my life that are completely outside of my control and I'm not dealing very well with it...at all!

I know that I should put it all in God's hands, and I really am trying, honest.

Money for nothin'...

I've always lived paycheck to paycheck and I've always had financial issues. I don't have problems making the money or spending it...the problem is that I just forget to spend it on the right things...you know, like my bills. I don't have a desire to not pay them, I just forget to do it. :(

I used to think it wasn't such a big deal - I always assumed I'd get married and often envisioned that God, knowing my crappy bill paying ability, would send a man my way that would be financialy savvy and I'd never have to worry about my finances again. I guess the joke is on me, that I'm now 35 years old and no man in sight. (just another reason why being single SUCKS!)

I suppose I should start getting more diligent about paying them first. I need to start with tithing again. I've become very lazy with my tithing and I know from past experience, that often leads to money woes like I'm currently experiencing.

I guess I'll start there - but I have no idea how I'm going to make myself follow through.

ugh - I hate not having anyone to share these kinds of burdens with!

I'm supposed to be working...

...the newsletter needs to be done and I just keep being distracted by everything else.

Some guys came to the farm yesterday and got some of the roof done (YAY!!). They actually got the short side done. If the weather is as nice as they say it's going to be on Saturday, hopefully we'll be able to get the rest done.