Friday, June 11, 2010

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The rules of setting Kellie up!

Apparently, there has been a lot of talk amongst people lately about me and my 'single' situation. So, here's the deal. I'm pretty picky (as you'll see from the list) and while I may complain about being single, I really am not 'looking' for someone, but apparently, there are people who are looking on my behalf. So, this note is for those people. You know who you are or you know who they are. Please read the following list. This is a list in progress and will change as things come to mind. Enjoy! :)

Kellie’s rules of being set up:

1. Don’t tell me about it, don’t even hint about it.

2. Even if you don’t tell me about it, you need to be really sly. I can smell a set up a million miles away.

3. If I know about it or figure it out, I will put up a wall and unfortunately, probably be rude to the guy (a character flaw/defense mechanism in myself that I can’t seem to break), even if, in your opinion, he is the ‘greatest guy in the world’.

4. He needs to approach me himself. You can introduce us, but he needs to initiate the conversation and he should not start out the conversation with ‘I hear you’re single!’!

5. He needs to be comfortable in his own skin. He needs to be confident, but not cocky.

6. He can’t look older than I do.

7. He needs to have a real job and not live with his parents, or have a really good reason if he still does. By really good reason, I mean, his parents are older or sick or something. Money is not a really good reason. If he can’t afford to live away from them, he can’t afford me. ;) Special consideration will be given to someone who farms in partnership with his parents. I say this, because my brother would be a really good catch and he still lives with his parents. Does anyone know any girls we can set him up with?

8. If he has kids, he must have a really, REALLY good reason why he’s not still with their mother, and they must have a respectful relationship.

9. He must be a Christian and must attend church on a regular basis.

10. I will not initiate first contact. If you have someone that you think is perfect for me, then tell him, not me! Let him decide for himself. Don’t force, encourage strongly or hound him to do anything about it.

11. If you think he’s interested you can have him contact me first.

12. The bar cannot be his second home – or his first! Been there! Done that! Not going through that crap again! I don't mind going out every now and then, but I don't want someone who makes the bar his priority over everything else.

13. Alcohol is something he enjoys on special occasions or sitting around a campfire…it cannot be his first drink of choice and it should not be regularly stocked in his fridge!

14. No Smoking! Of the tobacco kind that is…he can be Smoking hot! ;)

15. No tobacco at all. No cigarettes, no chew, no cigars, no pipe…nothing…nada!

16. I’d love it if he owned at least one of the following: Truck, Motorcycle, ATV, Snowmobile, Jet Ski, or Boat. If he has them all, that would rock!

17. Needs to be a hard worker, mechanically minded and doesn’t mind helping out anyone who asks. Including my dad who will ask, a lot.

18. Doesn’t mind getting greasy, muddy and sweaty, but must be able to clean up well, and look awesome, for church or a night out.

19. Will be able to handle the fact that my job requires a lot of time and dedication and he needs to be ok with the fact that he will get sucked into helping me with it on more than one occasion…in fact four come to mind quite quickly…

20. He needs to know how to respect me, my time, family, friends and the things I enjoy.

21. He doesn't mind that I'm a bit on the pudgy side and if he's willing to be my workout partner, I could get thinner.

22. He doesn't mind that my favorite foods are bad for me and include wings, cheese fries and hot dogs.